I Am A Mother

I finished the book long ago, and refer to it whenever I feel like I am starting to reach a lowpoint in my mothering abilities. Because I wanted to provide my favorite quotes, it has taken me some time to get the post done.

Around Mother's Day I stopped into Deseret Book Store to pick up a book, and saw "I Am A Mother" by Jane Clayson Johnson. My mother in-law had recommended the book to me, and with the spirit of the month, I thought it would be a nice quick read to get in.

As many mothers often do, I, myself, think at times that I am "just" a mother, and that my role is fairly simple and meaningless to the outside world. Jane Clayson Johnson does an outstanding job showing that we, mothers, are not "just." She also shows how women need to band together, and rather than fight tooth and nail in competition against each other (breastfeeding vs. bottlefeeding, SAHM vs. WOTH), we need to the opposite and stand up for the most holy and noble of occupations- being not "just" a mom, but saying We ARE Mothers.

My favorite quotes from the book-

"For all too often I think mother- woman in general, really- tend to forget their great worth. We become discouraged or guilt-ridden or just plain exhausted and don't realize that we do every day has enormous impact and implication. We get caught up in judging one another or taking sides and forget that the work of mothers is God's work- and because it is his work, he will help us and lift us up and make us stronger." -Introduction, pg xvii

" 'How do we get women,' she said, 'to stop saying, 'I'm just a mother.' Or, 'I used to be such and such, but now I'm just a mother? We need to market motherhood. So I cam up with a saying: 'Motherhood: 24/7 on the frontlines of humanity. Are you man enought to try it?'" (from "First Lady Maria Shriver- Her New Life," The Oprah Winfrey Show, April 29, 2004)" - pg. 7

"There are so many reasons why today's mothers struggle. Sheer exhaustion tops the list. A lack of recognition for our efforts may also be included. But somewhere else on that list is this: many of us don't remember often that we are daughters of God, doing his work. An astute seven-year-old- a true princess in training- told her mom one day, 'Snow White is still pretty in rags.' Indeed, we are all daughters of God, no matter what we do, no matter where we labor. And when we place one woman ahead of another because of her calling or title, when riches are equated with business success and rags are equated with the "everydayness" of mother, we are not only devaluing motherhood but belittling a daughter of God." - pg. 45

"My friend Sara often refers to mothering as "The Ironman [Competition] of Living." Exactly! We go into motherhood expecting that it will require some strength; then we find ourselves in it and realize that we're completely out of breath- with miles left to go. Indeed, motherhood is an extraordinary test of endurance and strength, some days requiring that we sprint, and other days asking us to swim uphill against the current." - pg 76

"Elder Bruce C. Hafen said "Can we love and support each other without judging each other harshly? So many of us are trying our hardest to live the commandments, often against great odds in our personal lives and unique family situations. Heaven knows, the world isn't giving us much support in these relationships. Let us support one another, even when- especially when, we differ on matters of personal choice and circumstance. Those are usually differences of preference, not principle" ("Women and the Moral Center of Gravity," in Ye Shall Bear Record of Me, 300)" - pg 104

"Elder Hafen has also observed: "If LDS women criticize each other rather than connect with and support each other, the adversary wins the day by driving wedges into natural, womanly relationships of strength. Because women can give so much never-failing charity to each other in relationships, one curse of the modern world has been to isolate and alienate women- including LDS women- from one another by making them more competitive ("Women and the Moral Center of Gravity, 300)" - pg 105

"Think of the power of the sisters of the Church would possess- in their homes, in their communities, in the world- if we stopped dividing each other into classes and categories!" - pg 110

"Sister Kapp, who did not bear any children of her own but certainly mothered thousands as she led the Young Women of the Church, wrote: "I will forever remember the day a child new to our neighborhood knocked on our door and asked if our children could come out and to play. I explained to him, as to others young and old, for the thousandth time, that we didn't have any children. This little boy squinted his eyes in a quizzical look and asked the question I had not dared put into words, 'If you are not a mother, then what are you?' (My Neighbor, My Sister, My Friend, 123)

What a question! Sister Kapp went on to describe the depth of emotion and the struggle she faced as a woman of faith who had not been blessed with children of her own. She acknowledged that it took time- years, really- to be at peace with her circumstance, to know what God knows. And that knowledge is this: every woman can find happiness and fulfillment in mothering. "You need not possess children to love them. Loving is not synonymous with possessing, and possessing is not necessarily loving. The world is filled with people to be loved, guided, taught, lifted, and inspired" (My Neighbor, My Sister, My Friend, 126)" - pg 116

I highly recommend this book to any woman regardless if you have children or not. I have this book permanently on my bookshelf complete with sticky notes within easy reach for those times I need a pick me up. If a book has sticky notes, for me, it's a big deal. It means I will reach for the book over and over again.